Everything I Never Needed
by Fhockey42
Summary: Steve and Natasha have everything they could ever want. A happy marriage, kids, and a house in the suburbs. But can they stay strong during trying times? Or will they be torn apart? A spinoff of chapter 11 of my other fic, "It's Not Just You and Me Anymore." Alternate storyline that continues from chapter 11 (which is posted here as well). Unfortunately, I don't own any characters!
1. But Where? (Prologue)

"Daddy? Where do babies come from?" Steve's five-year-old daughter asked him innocently.

"Uhh," Steve dropped the paper he was reading to look at his daughter. "Why do you ask?" He knew this question was inevitable, but he wasn't expecting it _today_. She was only five, after all.

"Just because," Lucy replied. This was her new favorite phrase. Whenever she was in trouble or was questioned, she would reply with the unanimous 'just because'.

"Well, I think that's a question that you should ask your Mama later." Natasha was going to kill him.

"Okay," Lucy replied with a shrug, going back to her coloring. The silence was again interrupted a minute later. "How come Uncle Tony and Aunt Pepper don't have any babies?"

"Well Luce, maybe they don't want them. And they're not married anyway."

"Do you have to be married to get a baby?"

"No, you don't. But it's a very good idea to wait until you're married until you have a baby," Steve replied, hoping to God that she wouldn't ask him any more questions on the subject. His answer seemed to appease her, and she went back to her task. Natasha had taken James with her to the store, and Steve and Lucy were relaxing in the living room of their house.

"Daddy?" Lucy questioned once again.

Patiently, Steve put down his paper and turned his attention to his daughter. "Yes?"

"Was I a cute baby?" she asked sheepishly.

"You were the prettiest baby that I have ever seen sweetheart. And your brother was the most handsome," he replied with a grin. "And you're still the prettiest little girl I've ever seen. Do you know why?" he said happily, rising from the couch.

"Why?"

"Because you look just like Mama. And you know that I like to kiss Mama. Now, come here you," Steve advanced toward Lucy, arms wide open trying to catch her. Her giggles filled the room as Steve chased her around, letting her get away. After a minute, he trapped her in his arms and began tickling her.

"Daddy stop!" she breathed through peals of laughter.

Steve picked her up and slung her over his shoulder, still tickling her. "What's the magic word?"

"Please!" Lucy screamed, and Steve stopped tickling her. The redhead continued to pant, catching her breath as Steve put her down gently. He wore a huge smile on his face. "You're so silly Daddy."

"I know I am, but so are you little girl," he replied.

* * *

"Mama? I'm confused," Lucy stated, her forehead crinkling as she spoke.

"What about девочка?" Natasha had to stifle a laugh at her daughter's face and colorful vocabulary. She was tucking Lucy into bed, and sat down on the bed next to Lucy's still form. James was sound asleep through the French doors in the next room.

"I asked Daddy where babies come from, but he told me to ask you. Where do babies come from Mama?" Lucy innocently questioned.

_Steve is a dead man_, Natasha thought to herself. "Well, why do you want to know?"

"Just because," the child replied the same as before.

"Now you may be able to get away with lying to Daddy," Natasha started, "but you can never lie to me девочка. Spill."

"Well, Jane's mama just had a baby," Jane being Lucy's best friend at school. "And now Jane has a sister named Mikaela. And then I was wondering how they got another baby for their family."

"I see now. But why do you care baby?" Natasha asked tentatively, trying to avoid an awkward conversation.

"I think that we should get another baby Mama. I want one," Lucy stated confidently.

"Okay," Natasha wanted to approach this gently. "I understand that Jane has a new sibling. But you already have a sibling, James. How do you think this will make him feel?"

"Oh, I already talked to James Mama," Lucy said matter-of-factly. "He wants another baby too." She paused to think. "Mama? Where can we go to buy another baby?"

Natasha was floored. This was almost worse than the sex question itself. Almost. "Lucy, you can't just go to the store and buy a baby. It doesn't work like that."

"Why not?" her forehead again scrunching in confusion.

"Just because," Natasha smirked. "No matter how badly you want a baby, you can't buy one. It takes a lot of time."

"But I don't understand Mama. If you can't buy babies, where do they come from?" Lucy pressed.

Steve was beyond dead. "Well, babies come from their Mama's belly. That's where they grow," Natasha started cautiously.

"Did I come from your belly too?" Lucy asked.

"Yes девочка. You and James are twins, you know that right?" Lucy nodded her head yes in reply. "Well that means that both of you were in my belly at the same time. See?" Natasha pulled out her phone and opened her photo album. She handed Lucy the phone with a picture of Natasha when she was pregnant on the screen. Natasha remembered that day. She was six months pregnant, and Steve had been insisting that she start taking pictures of her stomach every week. In this picture, Natasha had her shirt pulled up to reveal her bare stomach. She was smiling at the camera, but only because Steve had made her laugh while taking the photo. The picture was one of her favorites, and she made sure that she always had it on her phone.

Lucy smiled, her eyes lighting up. "Your belly was _so_ big Mama."

"I know. But it was worth it to have you and your brother." Natasha hoped that the conversation would end then and there.

"But how do babies get inside their Mama's bellies?" _Wishful thinking_, Natasha thought.

"Well, first a mama and a daddy who love each other very much have to decide that they want a baby." She soon decided that it was best to use Steve's method—religion (even if she didn't believe in it herself. "Then the mama and daddy pray to God, and God puts a baby in the Mama's belly," Natasha prayed that this would placate her daughter.

"Then how did you get two babies in your belly, Mama?"

"I guess that Daddy and I just prayed _really_ hard, and God rewarded us with two babies," Natasha smiled, feeding religious stuff that Steve would say to Lucy.

"Okay, I understand now." Natasha internally sighed. "Mama? Can I have a baby if I ask God for one?"

Natasha smiled, "No, девочка, I'm sorry."

"Why not? I'll pray really hard every night. I promise."

"Only adults can have babies Lucy. And only a man and a woman who are in love with each other can have a baby," she lied.

"Well, you and Daddy can have a baby then!" she happily declared.

"We can...but that doesn't mean that we will Lucy."

"But don't you want a baby too?" Lucy questioned.

"I don't know Lucy," she answered truthfully. "And it's not just about what I want, but it's what Daddy wants too."

"Oh," Lucy sighed. "Well can you ask Daddy if we can get another baby? I really want one Mama, and I'll be a really good girl. I swear."

"I know Luce, and you are a good girl. All right, how's this? I will_ talk_ to Daddy. But there are no promises. Understand?"

"Yes Mama, thank you thank you thank you!" Lucy excitedly squealed.

Natasha quickly shushed her daughter. "Okay, calm down—you'll wake your brother up. And it's past your bedtime," Natasha rose from the bed and placed a tender kiss on her daughter's forehead. "It's time for sleep. Goodnight, I love you."

"Night Mama!" Lucy said, the excitement evident in her voice.

* * *

Once she was sure that James and Lucy were both sound asleep, Natasha made her way into her own bedroom.

"There's my girl," Steve said with a sort of half-smile on his face. He emerged from the bathroom in a white undershirt and gray sweatpants. He approached his wife and pulled her in for a hug. Steve then went to kiss her, but she turned a cheek to him.

"Not so fast there Steve. You have some explaining to do," she began.

"I knew that I wouldn't get off this easy." Natasha sat down on the bed and motioned for Steve to sit down next to her. When he complied, she started up the conversation. "Why did you tell Lucy to ask _me _where babies come from?"

"I don't know Nat. I wasn't sure what you wanted to tell her. And I also panicked. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

Natasha let out a long sigh. "It's okay Steve. And in case you were wondering, I told her that when a married couple wants a baby, they pray to God and then God puts a baby in the mother's stomach."

"Thank you," he whispered quietly. He wrapped his strong arms around her, pulling her form into his lap. She didn't resist this time. "Now, why don't you tell me what's really bothering you?"

"Have either of the kids asked you why we've never had another baby?"

"Maybe once or twice, but they dropped it right away," he replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I asked Lucy why she wanted to know where babies come from, and she said that she and James really want a little sibling," she said.

"Okay. And what do you think about all this?"

"I don't know Steve. I mean, they're five already and the world isn't exactly the safest place. Another kid just means that we have more to lose if...we don't come back," she quietly said.

"I know. And we've never seriously talked about having another one before."

"How do you feel?"

"Come on Nat, you know that I would love another child. But it's not just up to me, it's your decision too. You're the one who would have to stop going on missions and all. I know that it's a huge sacrifice," he said gently.

"You really want another?" she questioned, surprised that he had already thought about it before without bringing it up to her.

"Of course I do. How could I not? I have the greatest, prettiest wife who happens to be the best mother ever to my children. James and Lucy are gorgeous because you made them. Natasha you're perfect in every sense of the word, and you've given me a perfect life."

"Well...you're not too bad yourself," she said playfully despite the sudden wave of emotions that had overcome her.

"And I have thought about it, and I really do want another baby. So will you think about it? For me?"

"Of course I will Steve. I'm not saying that it's going to happen, but I will consider it."

"That's all I ask. And who knows what will happen next?"


	2. A Sight for Sore Eyes

**A/N:** Okay, so here is the first real chapter of this story! I wanted to explain chapter 11 of "It's Not Just You and Me Anymore" in more depth; so here it is. You don't have to read any of my other stories to understand this, but just keep in mind that Steve and Natasha are married, and they have (in this story 5 year old) twins James and Lucy.

I hope everyone enjoys!

* * *

The familiar feeling of bile rising up her throat made her want to gag even more. She leaned over the kitchen sink and opened her mouth up wide against her own will.

Up came her breakfast.

Once she was sure she was finished, she rinsed her mouth out with water from the faucet. Still breathing heavily, she felt her back slide down the cabinets until she was sitting on the floor with her head in her hands. _At least the kids are at school_, she thought.

Natasha pulled out her cell phone from her back pocket and quickly dialed Pepper's number.

The C.E.O. picked up right away, "Hello?"

"Hey Pepper it's Natasha. Listen, I don't have much time, but I need you to do me a huge favor," she stated tentatively.

"Sure, whatever you need."

"Can you and the guys watch the kids over the weekend until Tuesday? I just really need you guys to do this, no questions asked."

"Of course," Pepper replied happily. "You can drop them off tonight if you want."

"I will. Thank you so much Pepper, I owe you big time," Natasha stated as she hung up the phone. She let out a sigh and leaned her head back against the cabinet door.

Steve had been on a mission for the past week, and he was expected home tomorrow—Saturday. However, Natasha had some personal issues she needed to deal with before his return. Issues that her children couldn't know about.

* * *

"Hi Mama!" James said happily as he walked into his mother's embrace, Lucy right behind him.

"Hi baby, how was school?" Natasha put an arm around each of her five-year olds as she led them to the car. She was picking them up from kindergarten—S.H.I.E.L.D. kindergarten, nonetheless.

"It was okay Mama," Lucy answered for her brother as Natasha opened the car door for her kids.

Natasha sat down in the front seat before turning around to address James and Lucy. "Well I have a surprise for you guys."

The twins made eye contact with each other expectantly. "What is it?" Lucy asked, a smile already on her face.

"We're not going home. We're going to the Tower in New York and you guys are going to spend the weekend with Aunt Pepper and Uncle Tony."

"But what about Daddy, Mama? And we didn't pack our clothes," James questioned.

"I already packed for both of you, your suitcases are in the trunk. And don't worry; you'll see your father in no time. It's just that Daddy and I need some alone time. Okay?" Natasha asked hopefully.

"Okay Mama! Can we go now?" Lucy asked, impatient as always.

"Alright, let's hit the road."

* * *

"Aunt Pepper, we're here!" Lucy squealed excitedly as the elevator doors opened to Pepper and Tony's floor. Yup, she definitely acquired her mother's outgoing nature. Lucy exited the elevator ahead of James, who still held Natasha's hand.

"Hey there you," Pepper emerged with a smile on her face. She was wearing a pair of cotton shorts and a pullover that was two sizes too big for her.

Lucy ran into her Aunt's legs and latched on. "I missed you Aunt Pepper. I haven't seen you in _forever_," the five year old drew out the last word dramatically.

Pepper laughed to herself. "Well I've missed you to. And James," Pepper stroked Lucy's strawberry-blond hair out of her face.

"Hi Aunt Pepper," James said quietly, still holding onto Natasha.

"He's zoning," Natasha started as she carded her hand through James' hair. "He fell asleep in the car and still isn't fully awake."

"Oh I see," Pepper smiled to herself. "Well, I've got lots of fun things planned for us this weekend." At that, Lucy smiled as James looked up at his mother worriedly.

"I'm sure," Natasha began. "Here, James and I will put the bags in their room while you guys get settled in."

Natasha led James into the twins' bedroom at the Tower and closed the door behind her. After depositing their tiny suitcases on the bed, she sat down in an armchair and motioned for James to join her. He did, and even crawled into her lap.

She snaked her arms around her son before speaking softly to him. "What's wrong James?"

"I don't want you to leave Mama. I want to stay with you and I want Daddy to come home," he stated innocently.

Natasha felt a dull ache as her heat twisted at his words. "I know sweetheart, but you'll have fun with Aunt Pepper and your uncles."

"I guess," James trailed off. "But why can't you and Daddy stay too?" Big, blue eyes stared up innocently at Natasha.

"Because, Daddy and I have some very important things to talk about back home. Things that you and your sister don't understand yet. Do you see?"

"I guess so," he sighed in defeat.

Natasha let out a sigh and hugged her little boy just a little bit tighter. "You know how sometimes you just want alone time with Lucy? So you two can talk about your friends and school and even Daddy and I?" James nodded and snuggled up into Natasha. "Well, your Daddy and I need our alone time too so that we can talk about important things in our lives. Do you see what I mean now?"

"I understand Mama. I don't want you to leave still," James said.

"I know little man, but it will be over before you know it," Natasha gave him a reassuring smile.

James immediately crawled free of his mother's lap and stood in front of her. "I'm not little anymore Mama," he stated with a laugh.

Natasha stood from the chair and ruffled his hair. "I know you're not мальчик. But to me, you'll always be my baby."

The two walked back out to join Lucy and Pepper. Clint had joined them and was in the process of setting up a game of Mario Kart on the Wii. "James, come on! We've been waiting for you," Lucy demanded. James then joined his sister and uncle on the couch.

"Well, I really have to get going if I want to make it home before midnight," Natasha said with a hint of solemnness in her voice. She walked over to the couch and placed a quick kiss on James and Lucy's heads. They murmured goodbyes in response.

"Bye Pepper. Thank you so much again, I owe you," Natasha said as she approached the strawberry-blond.

"Any time. You know, we're always here for you guys," Pepper grasped Natasha's shoulders and offered up a small smile before continuing. "Are you sure that everything is alright?"

"Yes, Steve and I just need some time for ourselves. Everything's perfect." Natasha smiled brightly before exiting to the elevator.

The lie grew thicker and thicker with every passing moment. In the elevator, she reflected upon her choices from the past few hours. She hated lying to her "family", but more importantly, she hated lying to herself.

She just hoped that it would all be worth it.

One can only lie for so long.

* * *

True to her thoughts, Natasha didn't arrive back at her D.C. home until 12:30 a.m. In all fairness, she did have to make a pit stop on the way home. Steve wasn't supposed to be back until at least nine tonight.

That would give her some time to figure out what the hell she was going to do.

Her head had stopped spinning momentarily, but her thoughts continued to plague her mind and cloud her judgment.

"Come on Romanoff. Pull yourself together," she spoke aloud to herself. She took a deep breath before rising from the armchair and retrieving the bag of things she had bought from her pit stop.

She did what she needed to do as quickly and efficiently as she could manage. Now came the worst part.

The waiting.

So there she sat, all alone in her empty house for what felt like an eternity. She was trying; oh she was trying so badly to wrap her head around this whole thing—or what could be, anyway.

For the first time since she let herself fall for Steve did she feel wholly and utterly alone.

"Come on," she urged. "Come on already, just tell me."

Then time stopped.

_Shit_.

* * *

Steve relished pulling into his driveway. He was finally home, and in tact, and couldn't wait to get his hands on his wife.

The mission had been a long and strenuous one; it had separated him from his family for nine days. It was simple, in theory—take out a band of rogue assassins trying to wreak havoc throughout Europe. But when it comes to S.H.I.E.L.D., nothing is ever as simple as it seems.

So here he was, finally home, and more than eager to see his wife and children. He killed the power to his bike and set it down on its kickstand before grabbing his duffle bag from the back. He made his way up the path, and there she was.

The most amazing girl—_his _girl. She must have been waiting for him. Her slender body only occupied part of the doorframe, but her smirk was unmistakable, even through the darkness of the night. She had on a white cotton t-shirt (with no bra on underneath, Steve noted) and a pair of gray sweatpants that pooled around her feet. Her red hair was thrown up into a messy bun, loose, crimson spirals framing her face.

Before he knew it he was running up the path, running towards her. He threw open the front door and dropped his duffle bag all in one motion. He didn't have eyes for anyone or anything but her.

Before either one of them could get a word in, he crushed his lips against hers, grabbing her waist with his hands. And from there he couldn't stop himself. He wanted to, he _needed_ to devour her immediately. His hands slid further down her body, and he easily lifted her up and hugged her against him.

Natasha complied all too willingly, wrapping her legs around his torso and cupping his face with her hands. The kisses kept coming; hot and fast and sloppy until neither one of them could breathe any longer.

They pulled apart, but only for air. Foreheads touching, each of them panting for breath.

"Nat," Steve whispered. "Where are the kids?" he asked, not as concerned as he should have been. It wasn't _too_ late, after all, and his children usually waited up for him when he was returning home from a mission.

"They're at the Tower with Pepper," she replied, matching his tone. "We need time for us Steve." A thousand questions began to bubble on his tongue, but she immediately quieted them with her lips once more until she tasted the all too familiar tang of lingering blood in her mouth. "You need a shower," she smiled. "You stink."

He groaned against her. "Will you join me?" he pleaded.

"No, not tonight," she whispered. "But...we can have some fun afterwards if you want," she continued with that sultry, beautiful voice of hers.

"I don't want anything else tonight but you," he smiled. Steve then shifted her body in his arms, carrying her bridal style. He had a devilish grin on his face (if that could even exist on Captain America's face) as he ran up the steps to their bedroom and deposited her on the bed. Her laughs filled the house the whole way there.

"I'll be right back," he promised with a crooked smile, looking down at her from where she was splayed out on the duvet. He ran off into the bathroom to take the quickest shower of his life.

"Hurry up!" she called after him. "It's not polite to keep a lady waiting!"

* * *

Steve emerged five minutes later, clean and dressed. He let out a low whistle as Natasha stood up from the bed—she was wearing a black, lacey nightdress that stopped mid-thigh. The thing was skin-tight and hugged her in all the right places.

He approached her with a goofy grin on his face. "Now there's a sight for sore eyes," he marveled. Steve leaned in to kiss her, but she instinctively pulled away.

"Not so fast there, Rogers," she cautioned with a playful smirk. "I have another surprise for you first." He raised an eyebrow in confusion at her words. Natasha then moved to the nightstand, opening the drawer and pulling out a small box. The box looked like a bracelet box, and was wrapped in silver paper with a white bow on top.

She walked back over to her husband and handed it to him. "What's this for?" he questioned as he sat down on the bed.

Natasha gave him an eye roll in response. "Just open it, will you?" She came up to the bed and stood in front of him, arms around his neck as he began to undo the silver paper. He cautiously opened the box to reveal a white plastic stick.

A look of confusion crossed his face. "Nat, I don't understand what this is—"

"_Steve_," she cut him off. "_Look_ at it. Read it."

He did. He observed the piece of plastic until he realized what the little purple plus sign actually meant. His mouth gaped in awe before he found his words once again. "Natasha, does this mean? Are you...?" he trailed off.

"Pregnant? Yes," she answered simply. At that, a huge, toothy grin spread over Steve's face. He immediately stood up and enveloped her in a hug. "And don't worry," she said against him with a slight smirk. "You're the father."

He squeezed her even tighter. Yes, they weren't exactly _trying_ for a baby, but they weren't being careful either. After their children expressed their desire for another sibling, Steve and Natasha decided to let nature decide if they would have another child or not. The odds of Natasha getting pregnant again were slim, anyway. They were told that it was a miracle they had children in the first place.

"Are you sure?" Steve asked. "I mean, that happened really fast."

"Well, the test is positive. And I've been throwing up for the past four days. _And_ I'm late..." Natasha was the one who trailed off this time.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe this!" Steve exclaimed as he ran his hands through his hair. He suddenly focused in on Natasha once again. "We have to tell the kids."

"Slow down there Steve," she warned. "That's exactly why I sent them to the Tower for the weekend. I don't want them to know yet. I don't think we should tell anyone until we're absolutely sure."

"Okay, I may be rushing things, but I'm just so excited Nat!" he continued. His eyes were shining bright with excitement, and Natasha couldn't help but to laugh. To _giggle_, in fact.

"I know. I know you are Steve," she smiled up at Steve and placed her hand on his chest. "And I'm happy too."

"Are you sure?" Steve asked, an undercurrent of concern in his voice.

"Of course I am. I couldn't ask for anything more Steve," she took on a more serious tone as she clasped her hands around his neck. "You are the most amazing man. You treat me like gold, and have given me everything I never knew I needed. I love you so much," she smiled up at him.

He leaned in to her touch and reciprocated her smile. He spoke gently to her in a whisper, "I'm gonna kiss you now."

Steve brought his lips down onto hers, and relished the feeling of having her.


End file.
